A Holistic Approach to Loss of All Kinds:
Space Between is the result of years of seeking a more holistic approach to loss and grief.
Four years ago, I saw a great need to offer alternative practices in an industry that was traditional and somewhat set in its ways.
I got a clear message:
I needed to provide other options to grieving families, beyond conventional methods.
During my separation, yoga helped me to feel the feelings that were buried under the surface—the feelings I wished to hide and ignore. I started to notice that I was going through the same stages of grief as many of the families I was serving. I felt it was inappropriate and unwelcome to compare myself to a widow.
Yet as the years have gone by I have learned that our bodies do not distinguish one loss from another. I was deep in grief, but felt I couldn’t express it openly or talk about it. He was not dead, just not part of my life anymore.
Between September of 2020 and November of 2021, my father died, my stepmother chose to pursue MAID (medial assistance in dying) program, and my mother died.
I sat with families everyday, I understood loss and grief. I was comfortable with death, so I was going to be just fine. I was estranged from my father and stepmom, but got to spend some time with my father before he died. We said what needed to be voiced
I said, “I never stopped loving you.” He had the chance to say, “I did the best job I could,” which I had heard before, but in that moment I accepted it as the truth.
I took a leave of absence from work to care for my mother when she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and stage four lung cancer. It was the most beautiful, challenging, and ugly experience of my life, and a healing time for both of us. I was by her side when she died and made sure I was there afterwards too. My mother was so frightened to be alone through this transition, and I promised someone would always be there. I sat silently until the staff from the funeral home arrived, I saw her into the basic cremation casket she selected and drove to the crematorium, keeping my word. I miss her greatly, as our relationship had shifted after my separation. She kept telling me I had to take a trip as she knew how tired I was taking care of her.
I thank my mother Barbara, my father Harry and my stepmom Deb for their final gift to me. Funds to travel and means to take courses to step into my full purpose in life.
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After travelling for almost a year and a half, I had put my grief on the shelf. I was living in the space between, not fully feeling sadness, but not feeling happiness either. I avoided my feelings, thinking I was okay. Since I dealt with death, I would not need to grieve like others.
“How did that work out?” you may ask.
Not great. My grief waited for me to see it head-on. It didn’t disappear or fade away; it was there for me to acknowledge when I was ready. I was so focused on stepping into purpose, I forgot I was grieving, too.
I have finally taken the time to be alone with no distractions to feel and let the pain express itself. I wish to help others through this process and meet them where they are. I finally met myself where I was, and I am in the process of releasing the sadness I tried to pretend was not present.
I know others are going through a similar experience. If I can sit by your side and support you through this grief journey, it would be my honour.
Space between is where we often get stuck. I understood this concept but didn’t realize until a few weeks ago that I have been living in this space.
It is like I shut myself off from the world with one purpose—to help others on their grief journey. It was a way to avoid my own grief and focus on friends who had suffered losses and strangers I met along my travels.
My intention was to find a way to remember my mother and father through my work. To keep them alive by creating a sacred space to hold others during their loss. I was looking for meaning, but thought I could skip the most difficult part of my grief: the middle.
I knew that we cannot bypass our feelings; we have to go through it. I guess I thought I was different and could jump to the end. Unfortunately, eventually we have to deal with the emotions. I did not realize how we store them in our body if we do not see them, express them, and eventually release them. This is an ongoing process, but I am coming out of my dark cave, the brain fog I was immersed in, and taking things one day at a time.
Launching Space Between has been a year-long journey of creation. I am ready to offer my services to assist individuals and families before, during and after a loss has occurred.
I am passionate about discovering what is most suitable for each person I meet, presenting a variety of options and creating a space together that will nourish your body, mind, heart, and spirit through this process.
I invite you to get in touch if my story and offerings call to you. I would be happy to learn more about your needs in a discovery call, which you can schedule here.
I wish all of you easeful and complete journeys through the space between, and into gratitude.
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